Why do you ignore your needs and feel unhappy

Published 03.05.2024 | By Йосиф

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Why do you ignore your needs and feel unhappy?

If you’re having trouble recognizing and meeting your needs, it’s likely affecting more than just your relationship.

This can affect mental or physical health. Pushing yourself to do too much can lead to burnout. It can also lead to feelings of emptiness and purposelessness if you constantly ignore the inner voice that tells you that you are unfulfilled.

The first step to changing all of this is to recognize that you are devaluing and deprioritizing your needs and engage in self-reflection to understand why.

When we understand the beliefs that shape us, we can work on the type of inner healing that can lead to major outer changes.

Don’t know why you’re ignoring your needs? You may have experienced any of the following:

1. You grew up watching other people put themselves last.

If your parents constantly neglected themselves in an effort to please others, you may have inherited their belief that self-care is selfish and wrong.

They probably thought the same, and perhaps for the same reasons. Patterns of self-destruction and self-destruction are often passed down from generation to generation until someone says, “Enough is enough” and begins to work to break the cycle.

2. From your experiences as a child, you learned that your needs are not as important as other people’s needs.

If your parents ignored or neglected your needs, either regularly or as punishment, you may have come to believe that you don’t deserve to have your needs met or that you can be shortchanged when you make a mistake.

As a child, you probably didn’t realize that your parents’ lack of care was due to their own problems, not yours.

This doesn’t mean they were bad people or terrible parents. Most likely, they repeated the same patterns that they had in childhood, because they did not know any other way. But now you have this choice.

3. You believe that having needs is a sign of weakness.

It may be that you mistakenly believe that having needs is the same as being dependent – perhaps due to the influence of someone else who has ingrained this belief in you, directly or indirectly. This may have occurred as a result of your feelings being undervalued, being manipulated in response to your expression of views, or being ashamed of asking for help.

However, there is a significant difference between having needs and being needy. And, more importantly, when you are able to recognize and respect your own needs, you stop depending on others to meet them for you. This is the exact opposite of addiction.

4. You believe that setting your priorities is dangerous because others may be offended, judged, or abandon you.

If you have been hurt, judged, or abandoned in the past because of your attempts to get your needs met, you may subconsciously fear that this might happen again. Consequently, you may feel panicked even just thinking about getting your needs met.

5. You believe that good things must be earned, but you haven’t done enough yet.

Nowadays, it’s easy to come to the conclusion that you’re not good enough unless you’ve accomplished something impressive. If this is true for you, you may be putting off meeting most of your needs until you achieve something that makes you feel worthy.

Many people spend their days and nights staring at a computer screen, believing that their lives will be better when they can make an impression – and earn some decent money at the same time. It doesn’t occur to them that they can feel better right in the moment by stepping away, taking care of their needs, and allowing themselves to be present doing what they enjoy.

6. You live in survival mode because you are focused on getting through the day.

If you’re living in a state of chronic stress due to trauma, grief, or burnout, you may well be doing the bare minimum, just trying to keep your head above water. When you’re in survival mode, you don’t have the energy to focus on your needs, big or small.

Marina Karaseva

https://www.cluber.com.ua/lifestyle/psihologiya-lifestyle/2024/05/6-prichin-po-kotorym-vy-ignoriruete-svoi-potrebnosti-i-chuvstvuete-sebya-neschastnymi/