What happens when children are given little attention

What happens when children are given little attention

Published 27.06.2024 | By Йосиф

What happens when children are given little attention

In modern life, time has a very high price. It is sorely lacking. We work almost seven days a week, spend hours moving around the city arteries, have a snack on the run, get home when it’s dark outside. So it turns out that modern parents are hopelessly busy.

The child needs attention

While mom and dad earn a living, children develop under the supervision of strangers in kindergartens and schools. Parents are convinced that their mission is to provide the child with the most necessary things: food and clothes, give money for going to the cinema and buy a ticket to a summer camp. But what about confidential conversations, family dinners and warmth?
What kind of attitudes does a child growing up without parental attention receive?

When the people most dear to a child do not notice his feelings and needs, they unconsciously convey silent, hidden attitudes that will eventually form a person’s self-esteem in adulthood.
The attitudes received in childhood do not allow you to make the best choice. As a result, we cannot find happiness in a relationship. And our children are a burden to us. But we may well weaken the effect of children’s attitudes. What is necessary for this? To begin with, it is necessary to identify the attitudes that have been formed due to a lack of parental attention. And further, do not allow them to be an obstacle to our development.

1. It’s bad to be too cheerful/too sad.

All children are emotional creatures. They try to live in this world, take the first steps towards understanding the world around them. And they need a person who will teach them how to recognize emotions and guide them. But in return, you were only given to understand that you should behave more restrained. And you had no choice but to learn how to control your emotions.

2. Showing feelings is like showing weakness.

In children, all experiences are sincere and direct. A child gets angry if he is offended. And ideally, caring parents should comfort, “wipe away tears” so that later the little person learns to cope with his own experiences. But the child was constantly taught that feelings are a manifestation of weakness, it’s a shame. And you’ve learned to berate yourself for expressing any feelings.

3. My needs and desires are unimportant.

The child has his own special needs. He needs something, he wants something.… The child needs a loved one to ask about this, about desires and needs. But adults have never paid attention to them, and you have come to the conclusion that none of this matters.

4. Talking about your problems is a waste to bother people.

The child grows, communicates, and socializes. He has difficulties communicating with classmates, friends, brothers, sisters. And the child needs to know that he can come and tell his mom and dad about all his problems. But parents were not up to children’s problems, and from that time on you keep them to yourself.

5. Only weaklings cry.

All people cry, and there is nothing shameful about it. After all, crying is a natural way to overcome emotions. But when a child cries, and the family has no idea that he cries for a reason, his tears are ignored. The desire to hold back tears and the belief that crying is a shame is a distinctive symptom of parental indifference.

6. Anger is a negative emotion, it should be avoided.

Every child gets angry in certain situations, because anger is an integral part of our lives. But children need the help of adults to realize the feeling of anger and learn how to manage it. And you have learned to suppress and replace anger. After all, you were probably punished for showing it.

7. Rely on others – sooner or later you will be disappointed.

When a child needs help, support, a wise word, parents are not up to it. And it turns out that it’s better not to expect help from anyone at all, so that you don’t get upset later because of the refusal.

8. People are not interested in what I say.

In childhood, the world around us seems amazing and wonderful. The child is surprised by everything, he tends to tell a lot and ask a lot. But parents dismiss the “empty” children’s chatter, the annoying “Why?”. And you gradually came to the conclusion that no one is interested in your words. And it would be better if you didn’t ask anything at all.

9. I am the only one in the world.

Without receiving warmth, care and support from eternally busy and indifferent parents, you realized that you were alone.

These are just lessons learned in the family. But the reality is different.:

Feelings can unite a person with himself and with others. And the ability to test them is an indicator of strength and health.
Understanding and accepting your needs and thoughts is the way to a happy life.
To overcome an obstacle, you need to talk about it.
Crying is not a shame
If we express our feelings, people will get to know us better.
Anger is a message from the body that makes a person stronger.
Trust is an important component of teamwork.
Everything I want to say is important. And it needs to be said.
We live in a world of people. And we won’t be alone.

https://econet.ru/articles/chto-proishodit-kogda-detyam-udelyayut-malo-vnimaniya