How to help your child understand who he really is

How to help your child understand who he really is

Published 27.05.2024 | By Йосиф

How to help your child understand who he really is

Gillian was only seven years old, but her future was already in jeopardy. Her performance at school was simply disgusting. Gillian was late on assignments, her handwriting was terrible, and her test scores were dismal.

In addition, the girl distracted the entire class from their studies: she either fidgeted noisily in place, or looked out the window, forcing the teacher to interrupt the lesson in order to attract her attention again, or disturbed the children sitting around her with her antics.

Gillian was not particularly worried about all this: she was used to adults making comments to her, and she really did not consider herself a difficult child – but the teachers were concerned. The situation came to a head when the school authorities wrote a letter to her parents.

The teachers believed that Gillian had a learning disability and that it might be better for her to go to a school for children with disabilities. All this happened in the early 1930s. I think today they would consider her to have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and put her on psychotropic drugs.

However, at that time this term had not yet been invented. ADHD could not be invoked at any opportunity.

Gillian’s parents were very concerned when they received the letter from the school and immediately took action. Gillian’s mother dressed her daughter in her best dress and shoes, pulled her hair into neat ponytails and took her to a psychologist, fearing the worst.

Gillian told me that she remembers being invited into a large oak-paneled room with leather-bound books on the shelves. In the room, near a large desk, stood a distinguished man in a tweed jacket. He led Gillian to the far end of the room and sat her down on a huge leather sofa. Gillian’s feet did not reach the floor, the surrounding situation was alarming. She was nervous about the impression she would make, so she sat on her hands to avoid fidgeting.

The psychologist returned to his desk and spent the next twenty minutes questioning Jillian’s mother about her daughter’s difficulties in school and about the problems that the teachers said were caused by the girl. Without asking a single question to Gillian herself, he watched her carefully all the time. Because of this, Gillian felt extremely awkward and embarrassed. Even at such a tender age, she understood that this man would play a significant role in her life. She knew what it was like to attend a special school, and she wanted nothing to do with that school. She didn’t really think she had any real problems, but everyone around her seemed to think the opposite. Judging by the way her mother answered the questions, it was possible that even she thought so.

“Who knows, maybe they’re right,” Gillian thought, sitting on the sofa.

Finally, Gillian’s mother and the psychologist finished talking. The man got up from the table, walked over to the sofa and sat down next to the girl.

“Gillian, you were very patient, thank you for that,” he said. – But be patient a little longer. Now I need to talk to your mom alone. We’ll go out for a few minutes. Don’t worry, it won’t last long.

Gillian nodded warily, and the two adults left her alone in the room. However, on his way out, the psychologist, leaning over the table, suddenly turned on the radio.

As soon as they left the room into the corridor, the doctor said to Gillian’s mother:

“Stay here for a minute and see what she’s doing.”

There was a window in the wall through which one could see what was happening in the room. The adults stood so that Gillian could not see them. Almost immediately the girl jumped to her feet and began moving around the room to the beat of the music. The two adults watched the girl in silence for several minutes, amazed by her natural, almost primitive grace.

Finally the psychologist turned to Gillian’s mother and said, “You know, Mrs. Lynn, Gillian is not sick. She is a dancer. Take her to dance school.”

I asked Gillian what happened next. She replied that the mother followed the advice of a specialist.

“I can’t tell you how wonderful it was,” she told me. “I walked into a room full of people like me. People who couldn’t sit still for long. People who needed to move in order to think.

She started going to dance school once a week and practiced at home every day. She eventually attended the Royal Ballet School in London. Gillian then joined the Royal Ballet Company, became a soloist and toured the world performing. When this stage of her career ended, the young woman created her own musical studio and staged a number of highly successful shows in London and New York. Then she met Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, in collaboration with whom the famous musicals “Cats” and “The Phantom of the Opera” were created, which received fantastic recognition and were a huge success.

Little Gillian, a girl whose future was in jeopardy, rose to international fame as Gillian Lynne, one of the most celebrated choreographers of our time who gave impact on millions of people. It happened because someone looked deeply into her eyes. Someone sensitive and attentive, who had seen children like this before and knew how to read the signs of hidden talent. Someone else could have forced her to take medication and told her to calm down.

But Gillian was not a problem child. There was no need to send her to a special school.

She just needed help to become who she really was.

Ken Robinson “Calling”

https://ecology.md/ru/page/kak-pomoci-rebenku-ponati-kto-on-esti-na-samom-dele2