If you are very angry with someone

Published 15.05.2024 | By Йосиф

If you are very angry with someone

You have felt angry more than once and will feel it in the future. Including in relation to people you know and love well. We’ll do it all. We all have misunderstandings and troubles, and there are many opportunities to practice responding to anger in productive ways.

If we are mindful, we can use these situations to improve ourselves and our relationships.
Watch your anger

1. Allow yourself to be angry.

You may think that you need to cover up “negative feelings” with positive ones. But you have the right to feel whatever you need to feel. We are all like that.

2. Make a conscious choice to come to terms with this feeling.

Decide that you will not do anything until this anger no longer controls you.

3. Feel the anger in your body.

Is your neck tense? Are your chest burning? Does your throat feel tight? Become aware of the sensations in your body and breathe into these areas to clear blocks that are causing you to feel stuck.

4. Think of it as a self-soothing exercise.

You can drive yourself crazy by mentally replaying all the times you were treated unfairly. Or you can talk yourself into letting go of your bitter rage and finding inner peace. After all, we are the only ones responsible for our mental state, so this is a great opportunity to practice emotional regulation.

5. Decide to act without seeking retribution.

Decide that you are not seeking revenge or restoring a sense of justice. You are trying to understand the situation and clearly express your thoughts on this matter.

Examine your anger

6. Check your mood before the incident.

Before entering into conflict, evaluate your emotions. Have you had a hard day? Do you feel irritated or tense? Someone else’s actions may have been the catalyst, but they are only partially responsible for your resentment.

7. Ask yourself: why does this bother you so much?

When faced with an emotion-provoking situation, figure out why it bothers you so much. The reaction may be caused by your interpretation of events rather than by the actions of others. For example, a missed call from a partner may cause feelings of bewilderment, although it may have completely different reasons.

8. Take inventory of projections.

If you feel angry about another person’s actions, it may be due to your own failures or fears. Try to determine what exactly you are projecting your feelings onto.

9. Express your feelings in a letter.

Once you have figured out what caused your anger and what feelings you are experiencing, write a letter. You may just burn it later, but this step will help you clearly articulate your expectations and needs.

Learn from your anger

10. Understand what is important to you.

This experience will help you understand what qualities you value in your friends: frankness, modesty or loyalty, for example. This will help you determine who you would like to spend more time with in the future and who you would like to spend less time with.

11. Figure out what you need.

Perhaps you need to improve your relationship, or perhaps you need to end it, realizing that it is no longer serving you. Make that decision and act accordingly.

12. Learn to express your thoughts clearly.

This experience served as a great lesson in how to effectively express yourself so that you are heard and understood. You may have to deal with similar situations in the future, and this will be good training for preventing misunderstandings and resolving future problems.

13. Determine how to improve your response to anger in the future.

Maybe you overreacted and now you have learned to be more mindful of your feelings and reactions. You may have become defensive when the other person retreated, and are now willing to place less blame in the future.

14. Plan to act differently in the future.

Perhaps during this experience you became aware of your role in the situation. Usually everything is much more complicated than it seems. Once you accept your share of responsibility, you can use this experience to build more peaceful relationships in the future.

15. And finally, goodbye.

Few people say at the end of their lives, “I wish I was still angry.” We usually say one of the following: I love you… I forgive you… I’m sorry…

Marina Karaseva

https://www.cluber.com.ua/lifestyle/psihologiya-lifestyle/2024/05/15-veshhej-kotorye-nuzhno-sdelat-esli-vy-na-kogo-to-silno-zlites/

If you are very angry with someone

If you are very angry with someone

If you are very angry with someone

You have felt angry more than once and will feel it in the future. Including in relation to people you know and love well. We’ll do it all. We all have misunderstandings and troubles, and there are many opportunities to practice responding to anger in productive ways.

If we are mindful, we can use these situations to improve ourselves and our relationships. Watch your anger

1. Allow yourself to be angry.

You may think that you need to cover up “negative feelings” with positive ones. But you have the right to feel whatever you need to feel. We are all like that.

2. Make a conscious choice to come to terms with this feeling.

Decide that you will not do anything until this anger no longer controls you.

3. Feel the anger in your body.

Is your neck tense? Are your chest burning? Does your throat feel tight? Become aware of the sensations in your body and breathe into these areas to clear blocks that are causing you to feel stuck.

4. Think of it as a self-soothing exercise.

5. Decide to act without seeking retribution.

Decide that you are not seeking revenge or restoring a sense of justice. You are trying to understand the situation and clearly express your thoughts on this matter.

Examine your anger

6. Check your mood before the incident.

Before entering into conflict, evaluate your emotions. Have you had a hard day? Do you feel irritated or tense? Someone else’s actions may have been the catalyst, but they are only partially responsible for your resentment.

7. Ask yourself: why does this bother you so much?

8. Take inventory of projections.

If you feel angry about another person’s actions, it may be due to your own failures or fears. Try to determine what exactly you are projecting your feelings onto.

9. Express your feelings in a letter.

Once you have figured out what caused your anger and what feelings you are experiencing, write a letter. You may just burn it later, but this step will help you clearly articulate your expectations and needs.

Learn from your anger

10. Understand what is important to you.

This experience will help you understand what qualities you value in your friends: frankness, modesty or loyalty, for example. This will help you determine who you would like to spend more time with in the future and who you would like to spend less time with.

11. Figure out what you need.

Perhaps you need to improve your relationship, or perhaps you need to end it, realizing that it is no longer serving you. Make that decision and act accordingly.

12. Learn to express your thoughts clearly.

This experience served as a great lesson in how to effectively express yourself so that you are heard and understood. You may have to deal with similar situations in the future, and this will be good training for preventing misunderstandings and resolving future problems.

13. Determine how to improve your response to anger in the future.

Maybe you overreacted and now you have learned to be more mindful of your feelings and reactions. You may have become defensive when the other person retreated, and are now willing to place less blame in the future.

14. Plan to act differently in the future.

Perhaps during this experience you became aware of your role in the situation. Usually everything is much more complicated than it seems. Once you accept your share of responsibility, you can use this experience to build more peaceful relationships in the future.

15. And finally, goodbye.

Few people say at the end of their lives, “I wish I was still angry.” We usually say one of the following: I love you… I forgive you… I’m sorry…

Marina Karaseva

https://www.cluber.com.ua/lifestyle/psihologiya-lifestyle/2024/05/15-veshhej-kotorye-nuzhno-sdelat-esli-vy-na-kogo-to-silno-zlites/

If we are mindful, we can use these situations to improve ourselves and our relationships.
Watch your anger