External strategies in isolation from internal ones

External strategies in isolation from internal ones

Published 25.02.2024 | By Йосиф

Possible mistake: External strategies in isolation from internal ones

Author: Nina Sumire

(Excerpt from a new book, still in the process of writing)

Has this ever happened to you? We watch a film, listen to someone’s life story, how a person solved this or that issue, and we have a desire: I want this too, he was depressed, he went on a trip and everything was resolved, which means (why?), this will help me too. We want to imitate someone else’s external strategy, without taking into account our own circumstances, actual needs, and possible losses.

External strategies, divorced from the inner voice of the heart, can even be destructive.

Let me give you an example. More than once I wanted to offer the film “Eat. Pray. Love.” But I doubted it. Because when surveying subscribers, there were practically no indifferent people: either they felt obvious disgust for this film, or they were unconditionally in love with it.

So why did I doubt?

Because this film definitely needs to be commented on, without taking the heroine’s life experience out of context and applying it to your own life.

Is this film therapeutic? Yes and no.

Yes, because the main character honestly talks about herself, about her experiences, which are close to many women. She definitely gets into the pain of the spectators, into the description of their inner feelings. This is the first thing.

And secondly, the film is therapeutic, because it is after understanding herself and her needs, after diagnosing her life, that a woman makes the most correct decisions FOR HERSELF. It is after the internal that the external comes, and not vice versa.

You know what they say before performing difficult tricks: repeating something like this at home is life-threatening.

This film ceases to be therapeutic if a woman, without thinking or feeling herself, her situation, begins to repeat the external strategies of the heroine: divorce her husband, go to Italy, learn to “eat” there, get a taste for life, then go to India to pray, then go to Bali and fall in love.

Unfortunately, as it turned out, after the screening of this film, some viewers decided to take such steps, having lost their family, finances, and never having met the new “prince.”

Because their situations were different.

The lessons in relationships with yourself and (or) with a loved one were different.

Maybe it was not necessary to get a divorce, but to heal the relationship. And unmarried people didn’t have to go to exotic countries to “find themselves and love,” everything they loved was nearby, you just had to notice it. Maybe there was no need to go to Italy to learn how to eat and feel alive there.

Maybe we should start with the question: what makes me happy? Who makes me happy? Why do I feel in love with life? And all this could be found right here and right now. And if you wanted to go on a trip, then maybe your soul would call you to Japan or Scotland, or to your parents’ house or to visit a friend, to the sea, or on a hike in the mountains.

So no matter what kind of therapeutic film it is, it is important to watch it wisely.

And the task for this topic could be this: find examples of correct and erroneous external strategies from your (and not only your) life experience. What conclusions can be drawn?

True external strategies come from internal healing changes, from listening to the heart, and not from subconscious scenarios and blind imitation of someone’s life, even if it is magnificent, bright, alive, and has evoked a powerful response in us.

Wish you happiness!

© Nina Sumire

https://absolutera.ru/article16427-vozmozhnaya-oshibka-vneshnie-strategii-v-otryve-ot-vnutrennih