A story about former self-esteem

A story about former self-esteem

Published 25.01.2024 | By Йосиф

A story about former self-esteem

Author: Nina Sumire

This is a story about a young woman who was unsure of herself for many years.

I remember how it is now. As soon as she entered the room where our mutual acquaintances, like-minded people, friends were, the atmosphere immediately changed.

A psychological “scratching” began, a temptation to behave with her like this: someone would definitely reproach her for something, accuse her, teach her to “live,” sometimes mock her, devalue her, condemn her, and cite her action as an exemplary anti-example.

She received such scoldings and blows, and from people who were much older and much younger than her, from men and women, from even sometimes strangers. It was as if it was written on it: I’m guilty, I’m not sure.

She slouched, pressed her shoulders, lowered her head, her voice trembled, she babbled something to justify herself, but extremely unconvincingly; on the contrary, those around her raised their tone even more and proved, citing countless arguments, that she could not be, live, lead like this. yourself, work, make decisions, have your own opinion.

This went on for several years. But one day she changed a lot. As if even suddenly, unexpectedly.

She has transformed from always extreme and guilty into a daring teenage girl.

She contradicted me, asked uncomfortable questions, asked “why and why do I need this, who said that, why did you decide?”, she behaved defiantly, sometimes eccentrically, surprising those around her and putting them in a stupor.

But after about a year, or maybe less, she completed this experiment.

I calmed down and realized that there was no truth either here or there: neither in the “good girl” nor in the “bad girl”. The following happened to her.

She realized that being both “good” and “bad”, she did not see herself, she was “seen” by someone, and someone who did not love her.

This is exactly what those around him read. This turned them on, this allowed them to treat her quite disrespectfully.

The young woman began her next experiment: she began to look at herself through the eyes of those who love her…

How did she feel who loved her? She answered for herself like this: God, dad, peace, friends (not all)…

I looked at myself and heard their words, or rather, I remembered and believed them. She saw her beauty, the fact that she looks younger, that she is an esthete, an intellectual, she has a wonderful sense of taste and sense of humor, that she easily sees and notices talents in people, their beauty, sincerity, she remembers kindness, knows how to be grateful, knows how to inspire…

She began to get to know herself. With myself. Not with the good one, not with the bad one. Just with yourself. I looked at myself without dark and rose-colored glasses. And I started to notice myself.

The heroine of this story began to live from a state of self-worth: walk, talk, smile, be silent, be sad, laugh, make decisions, express an opinion, say “yes” or “no.” As they say, being yourself. From myself. Not from the expectations of others, what they think she should be.

And I introduced others to myself, that’s who I am. And the story did not end there.

The young woman wanted to share her talent with the world: to see the good, the beautiful in people, their abilities, character strengths, to thank for good deeds, to give words of support.

So the chain of self-worth continued.

And this wonderful friend of mine reminded me of something else. She said what she is most grateful for in developing herself.

We often held “circles” at meetings: a circle of gratitude, a circle of compliments, a circle of inspiration, a circle of support.

When people heard “good” things about themselves, they did not always easily accept “this” about themselves: some began to cry, some openly did not believe, some were surprised, some froze in a stupor, some asked again, asked to prove it with facts, quite specific ones.

The general question sounded in space: is it really me? I am a wonderful person, valuable in this world, right?

Yes, we are like that – dear to the world, to God, reverent, sweet, very kind, vulnerable, piercingly unique.

We are the only ones like this in the world. There is no replacement. That’s why they are valuable. And there may be one thing we need: to hear how needed we are, how important we are, how dear and loved we are. And the rest will follow, be decided, lined up, done.

It would be good to hear about this often, talk about it often, remember and believe.

You are needed, you are needed, you are important, you are important, you are priceless and you are priceless… Hugs…

Wish you happiness!

© Nina Sumire

https://absolutera.ru/article16152-istoriya-o-byvshey-samootsenke