Osho: How marriage becomes a math that kills love

Osho: How marriage becomes a math that kills love

Published 23.01.2024 | By Йосиф

Osho: How marriage becomes a math that kills love and we become super unhappy

Rajneesh Chandra Modhan Jain (December 11, 1931 – January 19, 1990), better known as Osho, was a popular contemporary spiritual teacher and philosopher who lived in India and the United States, the founder of the Osho-Rajneesh spiritual and philosophical movement, whose teachings divided the environment of two polar camps.

As much adored as he was denied, he rejected all religions as unnecessary and limiting human consciousness, believing that there is a divine presence in nature and all around us.

Osho’s teaching is rooted in Hindu Advaita Vedanta, which holds that all reality originates from a single divine essence. His talks were not held in a dry academic environment, they were always mixed with funny anecdotes and jokes. They were told with such eloquence that they quickly reached the hearts of the listeners.

His alert and innovative mind brought him into conflict with established social norms and even with his close associates, giving rise to numerous controversies surrounding his teaching.

Among them is his idea of raising children. Under the influence of his grandmother, he grew up without restrictions, prohibitions and education. Later, already famous under the name Osho, he declared that this is the correct method of raising children – forced education and upbringing according to certain stereotypes at this age has an adverse effect on the development of personality and dignity.

He devotes many of his talks to the topic of love. Below is an excerpt from a talk in which he defines marriage as mathematics and a routine full of expectations that kill love:

You love someone and in the first moment, for a short time, your mind stops. Then you get married. Why are you getting married?

So that you can repeat these wonderful moments over and over again. But when they happened, he was not married, and they cannot happen in married life, because the whole situation has changed.

When two people meet for the first time, the situation is completely new.

Their minds cannot work in it. They are so engrossed in it – so overflowing with new impressions, with new life, with new blossoming!

Then the mind starts working and they think, “This is a wonderful moment! I want to repeat it every day, that’s why I’m getting married.”

The mind will spoil everything. Love is spontaneous; marriage is a calculation. Getting married is a mathematical thing. Then you will wait for those moments, but they will never happen again.

That’s why every married man and every married woman is disappointed – because they expect things that happened in the past. Why don’t they happen again?

They cannot happen because you are outside the whole situation. You are not fresh now; now the spontaneity is missing. Now love is routine. Now it’s all about waiting and searching. Now love has become a duty, not a pastime.

At first it was fun, now it’s a duty. And duty cannot provide you with the happiness that entertainment provides you. It is impossible!

All work is due to the mind. Now you are constantly waiting, and the more you wait, the less chance it will happen…

Disappointment sets in little by little because you have turned everything into an obligation, a routine. Now that same experience will be absent. Then you will think that this person has deceived you, or that you are stupid. Then you think:

The first experience was an illusion. I must have been hypnotized or something. It wasn’t real.

It was actually real. Your routine mind makes it unreal. After that, your mind expects, but the first time it happened when you weren’t expecting. It came without any expectation. It was just open to take in what happened.

Now every day you arrive with expectations, with a closed mind. It can’t happen. It always happens in an open mind; it always happens in new situations.

This does not mean that you have to change the situation every day. It just means you shouldn’t let the mind create schemes. Then your wife will be new to you every day.

Do not allow the mind to create patterns of expectation; don’t let the mind go to the future.

Then your guru will be new every day, your friend will be new every day. And everything in the world is new, except the mind. The mind is the only thing that remains constant. He is always the same.

https://woman.bg/article/2023080405592343002