7 mistakes that 99% of women make

Published 17.01.2024 | By Йосиф

7 mistakes that 99% of women make

— There is a myth that people fall in love at first sight and their love lasts forever. However, no one builds houses like that, no one gets a profession like that, and no one recovers like that.

I believe that a woman builds relationships. Do you know why I don’t counsel couples? Because, as a rule, a man asks to prove that a woman is wrong. And he expects nothing else from the psychologist. I believe that a man only reacts to a woman. He won’t react that way to a psychologist. I work with women only because I firmly believe that when a woman changes, a man’s attitude towards her changes.

This article contains the 7 most common mistakes I have encountered.

Mistake #1: You read a lot of morals.

The main mistake in a relationship is a lot of talking on the part of the woman. And this is not just talk. This is when, instead of explaining the reason for her sadness, she says: “I’ll explain to you how to do it right! I know! You don’t know, you don’t even…” She begins her moralizing, for example, in the car, at a moment when he cannot even get out of it. And she continues to blow his mind all the way on an insignificant topic. Then they come home, eat, go to bed, have sex, and in the morning everything repeats.

Mistake No. 2: You are thrown from one extreme to another

Women have another common mistake. They constantly go to the extreme – “always available” or “absolutely unavailable.” There are 2 points:

When a woman is available to her partner for intimacy regardless of his behavior, she loses value both for herself and for her partner.
2. When a woman takes the position of a tough leader or “mother” in the family, sexual attraction to her disappears. Because in a man’s head, “mom” and “sex” are two different things. “Mom” is for love, but for sex you need to look for another woman.

A woman is a combination of a girl and a mother. Together we get a calm, harmonious woman who knows how to show flexibility. Mom cannot be flexible because she is constantly worrying about something and has to be right. And a girl cannot be flexible simply because she is stupid.

When a woman learns to feel herself, she understands what calm joy is. And he learns to find the tools to reach such a state.

Women are waiting for a man to come and do something and make things good. It won’t be good. Because the need for love is a basic need. We can only fulfill our basic needs on our own. And, if a woman does not know how to satisfy her basic needs on her own, dissatisfaction will increase. Although, it would seem, she acts as she should, and the man acts as they write in magazines. But she doesn’t feel it. And this leads to people breaking up.

Mistake #3: You hit the tiger with a slipper

A woman often tries to convey to a man that he does not correspond to her ideas. She constantly repeats statements such as: “You are lazy!”, “How much can you?”, “You never earn money,” “When will you make a decision?” And conveying information to him from such a position will ultimately turn him into a “cat” who will not want to come to her.

I have this allegory when we take a tiger and hit it with a slipper every day. We tell him that he is not strong and not a tiger. I suggest women say phrases like “You know, I’m sad,” “You know, I’m very upset because I explained to you how important this is to me, in the hope that you will understand me.” Thus, the woman gives the man responsibility for her condition. It is very important. Because all women expect responsibility. He is an absolutely comfortable creature who doesn’t really like extra responsibility. And it is much easier for a representative of the stronger half of humanity to make a woman feel comfortable than to later be responsible for the fact that she is sad.

Mistake #4: You Don’t Realize What Happiness Is

I have been working for 15 years and for a long time I did not understand why girls with completely different statuses, ages, experiences and upbringings make the same mistakes. And what did I understand? The responsibility of parents is enormous. Parents should give their daughter the experience of happiness, by which she will later identify herself in society. For example, I was not taught to feel happiness. And when a girl goes out into life, she does not know what a state of happiness is. She knows the state of fragmented rewards for good grades, good behavior, or anything else. And so she goes out into life, not knowing what happiness is, and meets a man who says: “I am happiness!” She takes him to her place. 2-3 years pass, and she does not feel happy.

The main task of parents is to convey to their children what happiness is. And, if a woman nurtures and cultivates in herself a feeling of calm joy, she solves two problems at once.

Mistake #5: You don’t raise affectionate children.

A friend of mine has a daughter who is 3 years old. When she approaches him, she immediately shows affection. By and large, nature shows a girl’s behavior model. If a woman behaved like this all the time, then the man would have no chance of remaining indifferent. But where does all this disappear with age? Why, when you start communicating with a girl, do you have to wait so long for her to cling to you? When women were children, they did this unconsciously. Why do they need to be taught this again?

This is anxiety. Experience from previous relationships. When a girl has been deceived three times, she begins to think: “What if he doesn’t need this? What if he pushes me away?

When I cling to him, say a kind word, then he will have no choice to be bad. The same is true for our children. The first thing is to always accept their feelings. If your daughter cries, you should never tell her that she is crying because of nonsense. It must be said that you would also cry in her place. You need to empathize. One tool is to let your child know that he is okay. You need to say: “In any situation, I am with you.” And you need to stop yourself from moralizing. Many people say: “I’m with you in any situation, but listen, when I was your age…” And it begins…

Mistake #6: You don’t let your man talk

A man must learn to speak. When he doesn’t talk, the woman feels unwanted. The problem is that they make plans alone and do not discuss them with the woman. If he says: “Today I am working in order to buy us a house in three years,” then the woman will happily support him. In the eyes of a man, if he lives with her, comes home and eats soup, it means he loves her. But a woman doesn’t understand this. Women ask: “How can I understand that he doesn’t look at me much, comes late and sleeps in another room?” When I ask this question to men, they answer: “Well, I’m with her! Everything is fine”. You need to talk to women. You need to say: “I’m tired. Prepare me this dish.” And she will be happy.

How to convey to men that you need this?

The fact is that women see in detail. That is, they make up an overall picture from fragments. And men see the big picture. When a woman does something and asks a man: “How’s it going?”, an explosion occurs in his head. He thinks that if he says it now and doesn’t get it, there will be a scandal.

There is one good game. When your man asks you to do something, for example, asks you where his shirt is, or asks you to make tea, you tell him the following: “Three words that are important to me, and I will tell you where your shirt is” or “5 affectionate words, and you will have the best tea in the world.” A man really needs to be trained for some time to constantly say such words to you. Later he will use this tool independently.

Mistake #7: You are not aware of your beauty

Why does a woman, when she goes out, stand in front of the mirror for hours and want to look a little better for strangers, but does not find time to look good at home for her man? This happens because the woman is worried about public opinion. Her man is already nearby. It is much more important to her that it is not her husband who says something wonderful, but someone else who tells her husband how beautiful his wife is.

This is not a very healthy position and needs to be eradicated. I believe that being beautiful is a woman’s job for the rest of her life. It doesn’t matter how old she is. It doesn’t matter who she works for. Under no circumstances should you let yourself go.

Simple techniques to be happy:

Think: “What pleasure will I give myself today?”
Walk 4 kilometers a day. It shouldn’t be “here 500 meters now, 500 meters later.” You need to walk 4 kilometers at once.
Drink water! Flush depression from your body.
Tell yourself: “I approve of myself!” As often as possible.
In short: do what you love in the morning. And the day will start well.
And there is another good tip: do nothing once a week. Nothing at all. You can’t make your bed, eat yogurt, go to the gym, etc. This is a very important procedure.
Like many, I traveled to Tibet to find answers about happiness. Did not find. It was cold, hungry and scary there. I was there for three weeks, and once a week I had the opportunity to ask a question to the sage monk. My secret to happiness is that there are no guarantees. The world is unstable. Everything can change at any moment. And if I don’t take the maximum today, then tomorrow I may regret it.

Author: psychologist Anna Iotko

https://nashaplaneta.su/blog/7_oshibok_kotorye_sovershajut_99_zhenshhin/2024-01-16-54108