Signs that it’s not love but pure manipulation

Signs that it’s not love, but pure manipulation

Published 25.12.2023 | By Йосиф

Signs that it’s not love, but pure manipulation

When it comes to the idea that one partner in a marriage controls the other, one should not resort to stereotypes. Toxic relationships can creep anywhere, and there are no limits to controlling one partner’s behavior – people of any age, gender, or socioeconomic status can play the role of experienced “puppeteers.” So, how to recognize manipulation?

You are isolated from friends and family;

This process can start very finely, but it is the first step towards complete control over you. You may hear that you are talking on the phone with too often and you need to stop it. The purpose of this position is to deprive you of the support of loved ones and not to resist the will of the controller.

You are constantly criticized – even for small things;

Criticism, like isolation, can also start with baby steps. In fact, some even think that their partner’s criticism is justified and that he just wants to help them become better people. But in the end, no matter how small the criticism, if it is an integral part of your relationship, you will hardly be able to feel happy.

You are subject to veiled or explicit threats;

Many believe that only physical threats are serious. But if you are constantly threatened with separation, not to communicate with your children, or that you will be deprived of financial support, this is already a living emotional manipulation. Whether threats are realistic or not, they are simply a way for the controlling partner to get what they want.

They put conditions on you;

“I will love you more if you win well.“

“If you can’t even bother to cook a simple dinner, then I don’t know what I get out of this relationship.“

Some conditions may be more jarring than others, but the message is always the same: you’re not good enough for your partner right now.

Lack of a sense of reciprocity;

Healthy, stable relationships have a sense of reciprocity embodied in them. If you make certain gestures for each other, it is of your own free will, not to “score points”. If your partner doesn’t want to listen to your request because he has already done a lot for you in the past week and “it’s not his turn”, this is a serious problem.

Your guilt is used as a tool of influence;

Many controlling people are skilled manipulators, using their partner’s emotions to their advantage. In other words, they blame him. Often this means giving up your own opinion or true desires in favor of your partner.
You feel obliged

Usually, manipulation begins with romantic gestures. But on closer inspection, many of these gestures can be used to put you in control. There is an attitude that you have to “give back”.

You feel like you are being watched;

The controlling partner usually believes that he has the right to know everything and even more. Maybe he or she checks your phone, email, or constantly monitors your online search history and then justifies himself by saying, “If you’re not doing anything wrong, there’s nothing to be afraid of.“ But whether committed openly or covertly, such behavior is a violation of privacy.

Excessive jealousy, accusations or paranoia;

Your partner’s jealousy at first can be pleasant – it is taken as evidence of strong love. But if your partner views your every interaction with people of the opposite sex as flirting, it can become dangerous and cause a lot of problems.

You don’t have time for yourself;

It’s another way to weaken your power: making you feel guilty about taking the time you need to recharge. It is quite natural that everyone needs time for themselves – to be alone, think, do their favorite things and just relax. In a healthy relationship, communication about these needs leads to a workable compromise. And in the controlling relationship you will be accused of selfishness.

You are tired of constantly fighting;

Some people feed on conflicts and can create them literally from scratch. Especially if their partner is more passive and completely exhausted from the constant disagreement.

Your sexual experiences leave unpleasant memories;

The controlling dynamics in a relationship carry over to bed. Either way, if you’re feeling anxious about what’s going on in your sex life, it’s a sign that something’s wrong.

Your abilities are constantly questioned;

You may be hoping to continue your education, but your partner makes you feel like it won’t happen. Or you dream of owning your own business, but he calls your ideas “morons.” The controlling partner wants to undermine your potential autonomy, so he convinces you that you are not smart, capable, or talented enough to achieve anything in life.

The problem of total control in relationships is much more widespread than you think. Controlling people use an arsenal of tools to dominate their partners – whether they realize it or not. You need to know how to recognize manipulation and take certain measures in time, because this is not a healthy situation.

Author: Laura Kostova, happy-woman.bg

https://fakti.bg/life/842690-13-znaka-che-tova-ne-e-lubov-a-chista-manipulacia

Signs that it’s not love but pure manipulation

Signs that it’s not love, but pure manipulation

Signs that it’s not love, but pure manipulation

You are isolated from friends and family;

You are constantly criticized – even for small things;

You are subject to veiled or explicit threats;

They put conditions on you;

“I will love you more if you win well.“

“If you can’t even bother to cook a simple dinner, then I don’t know what I get out of this relationship.“

Some conditions may be more jarring than others, but the message is always the same: you’re not good enough for your partner right now.

Lack of a sense of reciprocity;

Your guilt is used as a tool of influence;

Many controlling people are skilled manipulators, using their partner’s emotions to their advantage. In other words, they blame him. Often this means giving up your own opinion or true desires in favor of your partner. You feel obliged

Usually, manipulation begins with romantic gestures. But on closer inspection, many of these gestures can be used to put you in control. There is an attitude that you have to “give back”.

You feel like you are being watched;

Excessive jealousy, accusations or paranoia;

Your partner’s jealousy at first can be pleasant – it is taken as evidence of strong love. But if your partner views your every interaction with people of the opposite sex as flirting, it can become dangerous and cause a lot of problems.

You don’t have time for yourself;

You are tired of constantly fighting;

Some people feed on conflicts and can create them literally from scratch. Especially if their partner is more passive and completely exhausted from the constant disagreement.

Your sexual experiences leave unpleasant memories;

The controlling dynamics in a relationship carry over to bed. Either way, if you’re feeling anxious about what’s going on in your sex life, it’s a sign that something’s wrong.

Your abilities are constantly questioned;

Author: Laura Kostova, happy-woman.bg

https://fakti.bg/life/842690-13-znaka-che-tova-ne-e-lubov-a-chista-manipulacia

Many controlling people are skilled manipulators, using their partner’s emotions to their advantage. In other words, they blame him. Often this means giving up your own opinion or true desires in favor of your partner.
You feel obliged