Signs of a passive-aggressive manipulator

Published 19.12.2023 | By Йосиф

Signs of a passive-aggressive manipulator

The darkening (t.pomegranate. “gaslighting” is a form of emotional abuse that slowly undermines your ability to make judgments. Essentially, a” dimmer ” turns negative, harmful, or destructive words and actions to his advantage, deflecting blame from his abuse by pointing the finger at you.

This often makes you feel ” overly sensitive,” “paranoid,” “mentally unstable,” “stupid,” “helpless,” and triggers many other sensations that lead to self-doubt.

Usually mastered by psychopathic, sociopathic, and narcissistic individuals, darkening tends to slowly eat you up from the inside until you realize that only the shell of the person you were before is left. On the other hand, passive aggressiveness is disguised anger or hostility. The goal is to establish power and total control over someone and get away with responsibility.

Most forms of Blackout are quite open and overt (for example, constant and false attacks, accusations, humiliations, condemnation and harsh criticism), but there is a more subtle form-passive – aggressive. It does not manifest itself so clearly, it is disguised as “sincere concern”, so it is very difficult to recognize it, especially at first. Nevertheless, this” quiet form ” of aggressive behavior is no less destructive and toxic than outright blackout.

Here are 7 signs of passive-aggressive dimmer that you should watch out for.

Some of the above are common to ordinary people. However, they rarely resort to such behavior, whereas for a true passive-aggressive dimmer it is part of their daily lives. And, of course, he is not worried about how such “manipulations” will affect his relationship with other people. After all, his real goal is not peace and harmony or to be loved, but to establish complete control over and rule over the victim.

1. Constantly lying and distorting the facts

“A lie repeated a hundred times becomes the truth“ is a famous quote attributed to various sources.

Constantly lying and distorting the facts is one of the most common techniques of the passive-aggressive dimmer. In this way, he tries to write his story about what happened and impose it on the victim. And the lack of evidence and facts does not bother him – he will invent them, distort them and repeat the new version countless times.

His job is to falsify facts in order to dominate and control the victim. Often in this way, he tries to shift the focus from the real problems (for example, that he himself did something wrong and should be held accountable) to the other person who is “always at fault.”

“When I caught my boyfriend with another girl, he immediately started denying everything. She was screaming that I made it all up and calling me crazy.”

2. Complaining and constantly making comments

My father’s favorite response was, ” but …”, “actually …”and “has something else besides that … “. He was always trying to say he knew best.”

Passive-aggressive dimmers do not miss a single opportunity to make a condescending remark about the victim’s appearance, thoughts, behavior, or abilities. Their favorite topics: facts from the victim’s biography, her past mistakes and blunders, etc. In this way, the dimmer is trying to make the other person feel inferior, almost marginalized in some way.

3. Humiliating humor and sarcasm

“And behind the smile is a knife!”- an old Chinese proverb.

Humor that humiliates, and constant sarcasm, decorated with a kind smile – all this literally destroys the victim of the dimmer. The abuser tries to humiliate in public at a time when someone is happy and confident in themselves. As a result, it disturbs the victim and enjoys the pathological power over the mind.

Sarcasm is a “great way” to comment on someone’s appearance, personal characteristics, background, sexual orientation, etc. And if the person is offended or offended, the dimmer will immediately counter – ” that was sarcasm!”.

In fact, such sarcasm and negative humor are nothing but passive-aggressive forms of psychological pressure and intimidation of the victim.

4. Spreading gossip behind your back

“Only insecure people need to gossip about someone behind their back. It makes them feel more important and important.”

The manipulator uses gossip to undermine his victim’s reputation, to make others question her, to question whether they can trust her at all. The goal is the same again: to gain control over the other person. Gossip is usually based on distorted information or outright lies. The trick of seemingly meaningless gossip is that, after repeating it repeatedly, many people begin to accept it as true. It can be very difficult to refute a lie even when convincing evidence to the contrary is presented.

Splicing is the real cancer in communication and relationships. Whether it is an interlocutor, colleague or partner. Sooner or later they destroy trust and friendship.

“Many of the world’s problems would disappear if we talked to each other instead of to each other.” – Ronald Reagan

5. Regularly comparing the victim to others

The dimmer uses the comparison to justify his criticism and bad attitude. He tries to convince the victim that she is so “worse than everyone else” that she does not deserve better treatment.

By the way, the comparison is often disguised as “advice” that will help the “imperfect and so sinful” person to “improve” and become better. In reality, Man is simply destroyed morally, and his self-esteem and self-esteem are destroyed.

An insecure person is easily managed… Especially if you constantly remind him how much he loses against the background of the more successful people around him.

For example:

“Why can’t you act like your sister?”(in this way, the parent who uses dimming sets the children against each other and gains control over their behavior).

“You used to look so much better, why don’t you start going to the gym and finally get in shape like your friends? (husband or wife shames his partner or partner).

“If you could be like…”(laughing at the partner).

What all these examples have in common is that one idea is imposed on man: “you will be loved (accepted, respected, etc.N. only if you do this and that. Otherwise, you don’t deserve to be treated normally.”

6. Social isolation of the victim

Quite often, the blackout invents all sorts of reasons to isolate the victim of manipulation from friends, family, colleagues, communication with peers and even from information and any contacts on social networks. Its purpose is to deprive her of positive emotions, support and the opportunity to discuss with someone her problems and doubts.

“Shortly after the wedding, my husband completely restricted my contacts with family and friends. To my feeble attempts to protest, he always replied, “I am the only one you can trust. All the others are fake and will trick you.”

7. Constant accusations

Since the purpose of blackout is to confuse the victim, to make her doubt everything, including herself, the abuser resorts to such a passive-aggressive technique to throw baseless accusations related to almost all mortal sins. His” helpers ” in this – all the same – are outright lies and exaggerations. And all this, of course, in the complete absence of any evidence.

In this way, the blackout damages the victim’s authority and reputation (in private or public). This gives him control and power and distracts from his own weaknesses and failures.

“The work of your department is a waste of time and resources. Why are you even paid a salary? For sitting on your ass at work?”

“My wife is a pathetic loser and needs to know the truth about herself.”

In conclusion, these seven types of passive-aggressive dimming have one thing in common – the desire to exert control over the victim by causing her insecurities and doubts about her own appropriateness. In this way, the manipulator feels like the king of perfection (when in fact he is a deeply complex and insecure person) and gains the ability to control others.

The destructiveness of the passive-aggressive form of dimming should not be underestimated. Yes, at first glance it is “quiet and unobtrusive”, but in fact, regular “brainwashing” is the most real psychological and emotional abuse.

Teodora Pavlova

https://novini.bg/razvlecheniq/liubopitno/816603