9 signs that a man is Killing Your Self-esteem

9 signs that a man is Killing Your Self-esteem

Published 15.11.2023 | By Йосиф

9 signs that a man is Killing Your Self-esteem

Men who are prone to abuse, read those signals that indicate your initially low self-esteem, and begin to use the situation to their advantage. They can figure out the weaknesses of their victim and skillfully manipulate them, thereby “driving” the woman into a trap. At the same time, a relationship with a man who kills your self-esteem is actually like a litmus test, vividly demonstrating several important points:

The fact that you do not value yourself and do not love.
The fact that you do not have personal boundaries, you do not know how to say “no” and give feedback on the actions of a partner.

These points are very important to take into account, because after parting with the abuser, but without working out internal problems, you may again face a similar situation and step on the same rake.
Signs that a man is destroying your self-esteem

Criticism, unfounded claims, comments, for example, about the appearance of a woman, her ability / inability to cook, as well as the intimate component of life.

Ridicule — on the one hand, banter can be mutual in a couple and occur on a completely voluntary basis, but if we are talking about abusive relationships, then ridicule can be quite offensive and caustic. In a bad scenario, if a woman shows that it is unpleasant for her, a man can say that she is too vulnerable or accuse her of having misunderstood everything.

Sarcastic remarks and openly insulting phrases addressed to a woman, accusations.

Any comparison of a woman with a previous partner, mother, an outsider, for example, a colleague from the office.

Attempts to impose a sense of guilt for some of their actions / words (see also: Invisible violence: what is gaslighting and how to protect yourself from it).

Disrespectful (sometimes defiant) behavior of a man. This item is quite voluminous, it can include the following points:
a) ignoring messages / calls, canceling meetings for no good reason;
b) focus on friends, family, work, not relationships;
c) the absence or presence of a superficial interest in a woman’s life, including her health and needs;
d) flirting, signs of attention to other women in the presence of the chosen one.

Statements that love and a good attitude must be earned.

Attempts to humiliate in the presence of strangers, relatives, including with the help of ridicule.

The lack of desire to understand a woman, to enter into her position — that is, there is only one opinion, the opinion of a man, and it is the only true one.
What to do?

When a woman has low self-esteem, she takes any partner’s nagging, outright negativity and disrespect at her own expense, moreover, she believes that what her partner said is the truth. A man with his attitude to you just clearly demonstrates what already exists. Therefore, the main question is not how a man can “kill” self-esteem, but how do you make it so that this does not happen in principle.

To do this, you need to find out how you feel about yourself, whether you love yourself, whether you respect your own feelings, whether you know what personal boundaries are, whether you know how to protect them, whether you allow others to neglect yourself. You need to give very honest answers to all these questions — this will begin the process of revising the attitude towards yourself. And, of course, the main question is: can you do something today, now, that will allow you to treat yourself better? It is very important to learn to listen to yourself: to your desires, to feelings, including negative ones — they cannot be ignored, since they are the ones that say that you do not like how your partner behaves (read also: Do not lose yourself: how to define and protect your personal boundaries).

Based on: Olga Romaniv, family psychologist

https://www.cluber.com.ua/lifestyle/lichnaya-zhizn/2023/11/9-priznakov-chto-muzhchina-ubivaet-vashu-samooczenku/