Emotional burnout

Published 03.11.2023 | By Йосиф

Emotional burnout

Emotional burnout is an important but painful topic when it comes not to light bulbs, but to real people. From the outside it looks the same: a man lived, burned with his unique light, and then went out, but why? Where does burnout come from, how to prevent it, and is it possible to burn out without doing anything?
Emotional burnout, what does it mean?

Lack of strength, loss of meaning, frustration, and sometimes a strong sense of guilt are the average symptoms of emotional burnout in a person. But this condition is insidious because it manifests itself very individually.

Burnout is usually talked about in the context of work, but what’s sad is that it can affect any area in life, whether it’s family, hobbies or even leisure.

Just one condition is enough to add the case to the list of “potentially dangerous”:

it takes up most of your time (the time devoted to thinking about it also counts);
you give your best;

Even if both have coincided, do not rush to the conclusion, the syndrome of an extinguished light bulb does not concern everyone and not always, but also has a number of signs.
Signs of burnout. How to understand what is about to happen?

There is no single recipe to determine that “winter is near”, or has already come, but in most cases burnout can be recognized by 3 signs:

1. Sleep problems

Lack of sleep, problems falling asleep, or an errant routine.

2. Anxiety

Is it worth explaining to a modern person what it is? Burnout and anxiety are best friends.

There is a very quick stress test: Set a stopwatch and close your eyes. Measure the minute by internal time (do not count to yourself, just open your eyes when the minute according to your feelings expires). Look at how much has actually passed. 65 seconds is the norm, less indicates stress, 45 seconds or less is a reason to consult a specialist.

3. On the edge

A tightrope walker feels something similar: a step to the left, a step to the right, and you fly into the abyss. If a feeling periodically rolls over: “I’m on the verge, a little more, and I’ll go crazy,” then this is a serious reason to slow down and analyze: how has the last week gone?

Another test for the proximity of burnout: Remember what you have been doing for the last 7-10 days (work, rest, meetings, household chores, etc.), make a list. Next to each item, specify a plus or minus, depending on whether you have experienced positive or negative emotions from this. Count how many pluses you got in the end. Most, half of the list, a quarter, two and a half items, none? If there are fewer pluses than minuses, then a confident course for burnout is chosen.

But only the course, you can’t burn out in a week or two. So what determines how quickly this will happen and whether emotional burnout will occur at all? And who risks falling into this trap first?
Which people are prone to burnout?

What is surprising: while some people go hand in hand with burnout all their lives, others have never encountered it. How do the former differ from the latter?

These three traits increase the risk of burnout:

1. Hyper-responsiveness

People with hyper—responsibility are real thieves in law. And most importantly — with a perfect disguise. No one, except their personal therapist, will guess how much of someone else’s responsibility they are dragging behind them in a black bag. There’s everything-in-the-world-work, and the feelings of other people, and maybe even their lives or, in general, the fate of humanity! With such a burden on your shoulders, you should not be surprised at the rapid burnout.

2. Perfectionism

Having a firm belief that everything should turn out quickly, perfectly and from the first time, it is not easy to realize that in real life it can be in any way. The loss of customers, the comparison with competitors in their favor, the temporary lack of progress — all this leads the perfectionist to disappointment. And it is a faithful companion of burnout, because what’s the point of doing something if it doesn’t work out as well as it was imagined.

Loss of meaning is one of the indicators of burnout.

3. The “earn love” setting

This attitude is formed in a child in a family where significant adults make it clear by their behavior: they love you only when you …, and then they have to emphasize what is necessary: you obey, get high marks, behave in a certain way. If one of the points is not fulfilled, then the punishment follows – dislike. Such contracts with opaque conditions are sometimes concluded by parents with their own children, and they pay with their burnouts.
Lifestyle and burnout

Good news: firstly, any of these issues can be worked out. And secondly, even among the hyper-responsible perfectionists who “deserve” love, there are those who have never faced burnout. So what is the secret ingredient that is guaranteed to protect a person from it, or vice versa: face to face?

Lifestyle — …

…that’s what determines how soon a person will burn out and whether it will burn out at all.

There are two ways: To burnout and FROM it.

Staying at work late or coming home early, whether to take a vacation, whether to work on a day off — each of our decisions either brings us closer to burnout or distances us from it. That’s the answer to the question: why is one always full of energy and does not even think about what could be different, and the second consistently falls out of life for two months every few years, and then comes to himself for a long time, picking up pieces.

Lifestyle is directly related to beliefs.

The voice of truth dictates to a person: “Success shines only for those who work hard,” and he obediently stays at work late for the sixth day in a row. So which way to work? To engage in beliefs, perfectionism and childhood injuries or to change the usual way of life: to organize (not) an extra day off, to devote an hour a day only to yourself and your loved one further down the list.

The answer is simple and even a little cruel: everything at once. A person is a single dynamic system. To simplify it, it is like a scale: you put a kettlebell in one bowl — and the whole mechanism moves, pushing up the second one. You change the belief “successful people work hard” to “you don’t have to work hard to become successful,” and the behavior adjusts, because now in the belief system success does not depend on whether you spend your entire vacation in an embrace with a working laptop. And vice versa: here plus one hour to sleep, there is a whole day just for yourself (even if organized by force), and suddenly the incredible opens! There is no punishment for rest or weakness. Teachers lied, parents lied…
How to move FROM burnout?

It’s a myth that you can’t burn out doing what you love, or that the secret to success is to work a little. Yes, that’s right: you can face burnout without even doing anything. Just from a sense of guilt and constant thoughts about what needs to be done, but does not move from a dead point. If you are familiar with this, you can ask yourself one simple question: “Do the people you are married to know about this at all?”

As for the movement FROM, it is a long way to find balance and understanding yourself. The more you are surrounded by things, people and activities that you are genuinely passionate about, and the less fear of making a mistake and trying to “earn” someone’s love, the more accurate your course is to the country of non-burning people.

“What if I let myself rest…?”

… then the project will fail, they will be fired from work, clients will leave, something will break somewhere, it will not work – all these are natural fears of a person who is used to carrying much more responsibility on his shoulders than he should. You can read about how to dump excess ballast and stop blaming yourself for what happened (or did not happen) in the article: What drains the vital forces and how to cope with it?

Anything can really happen: every second in all corners of the world something breaks and changes.

Meanwhile, Earth is the third planet from the Sun… A magical sobering phrase that will remind you of the scale: what does a failed project mean in the universe, where a clot of magma revolves around a fiery star? Will it suddenly stop spinning?

People who are prone to burnout are most often very serious, believing that if they allow themselves weakness, it will happen… what’s going to happen? Will the sky fall to the ground? How amazing to realize that nothing will change at all. There will be no punishment, the world will not collapse, and most importantly: your inner world will only get stronger if you allow yourself to slacken. A good, strong slack for about six hundred minutes, after which you can get down to business with renewed vigor.
What should I do if burnout has already occurred?

First, admit to yourself that you need help. Between the first step that you have already taken (reading this article) and a big wide step (help from family, friends, therapist) there is usually a stumbling block — the inability to ask for help. This is again a belief about weakness. Now that slack is officially resolved, what has changed?

To cope with burnout, you need to do four steps:

1. Stabilization

Slow down, become aware of yourself here and now, find a resource to move from a state from “not very” to “not very stable”.

2. Exit from the pit

With a sharp push, change “not very” to “good”. And here a major shake-up is needed. A universal option is a vacation, but the way to “get out of the pit” is limited only by fantasy.

3. Align the balance

The previous two steps are ineffective if you do not stabilize in the “good” state. This is where an ambush usually awaits. Can you find a work/rest balance on your own, surround yourself with support and go into a “stable good” state for a long time? If yes, then go ahead, if not, then we return to the question: can I ask for help? To even out the balance, the answer should sound like: “Yes!”

4. Search for global meaning

Why are you now in a state of “consistently good”? What motivates you to continue to be in it? Your unique meaning, close only to you. So we got to what allows the light bulb to burn constantly — electricity.

The exercise is an hour long, the result is an hour long…

Finally, one exercise. It is called “An hour for yourself” and its essence is simple: plan exactly an hour a week and devote it not to work, not to hobbies and not to family, but only to the one and only yourself.

This is a lifestyle test. Can you afford it with ease, or will you have to carve out an hour in a schedule packed to the limit?

Behavior test. Do you know, do you remember what to do when left alone with yourself?

A thought test. Do you feel good here and now, or are you thinking about the unfinished business?

A test of where you are going: to burnout or anti-burnout. And where do you want to go?

Based on: Polina Tankovich

https://www.cluber.com.ua/lifestyle/psihologiya-lifestyle/2023/10/emoczionalnoe-vygoranie-vse-chto-vazhno-ob-etom-znat/

Emotional burnout

Emotional burnout

Emotional burnout

Lack of strength, loss of meaning, frustration, and sometimes a strong sense of guilt are the average symptoms of emotional burnout in a person. But this condition is insidious because it manifests itself very individually.

Burnout is usually talked about in the context of work, but what’s sad is that it can affect any area in life, whether it’s family, hobbies or even leisure.

Just one condition is enough to add the case to the list of “potentially dangerous”:

it takes up most of your time (the time devoted to thinking about it also counts); you give your best;

Even if both have coincided, do not rush to the conclusion, the syndrome of an extinguished light bulb does not concern everyone and not always, but also has a number of signs. Signs of burnout. How to understand what is about to happen?

There is no single recipe to determine that “winter is near”, or has already come, but in most cases burnout can be recognized by 3 signs:

1. Sleep problems

Lack of sleep, problems falling asleep, or an errant routine.

2. Anxiety

Is it worth explaining to a modern person what it is? Burnout and anxiety are best friends.

3. On the edge

A tightrope walker feels something similar: a step to the left, a step to the right, and you fly into the abyss. If a feeling periodically rolls over: “I’m on the verge, a little more, and I’ll go crazy,” then this is a serious reason to slow down and analyze: how has the last week gone?

But only the course, you can’t burn out in a week or two. So what determines how quickly this will happen and whether emotional burnout will occur at all? And who risks falling into this trap first? Which people are prone to burnout?

What is surprising: while some people go hand in hand with burnout all their lives, others have never encountered it. How do the former differ from the latter?

These three traits increase the risk of burnout:

1. Hyper-responsiveness

2. Perfectionism

Loss of meaning is one of the indicators of burnout.

3. The “earn love” setting

Lifestyle — …

…that’s what determines how soon a person will burn out and whether it will burn out at all.

There are two ways: To burnout and FROM it.

Lifestyle is directly related to beliefs.

“What if I let myself rest…?”

Anything can really happen: every second in all corners of the world something breaks and changes.

Meanwhile, Earth is the third planet from the Sun… A magical sobering phrase that will remind you of the scale: what does a failed project mean in the universe, where a clot of magma revolves around a fiery star? Will it suddenly stop spinning?

To cope with burnout, you need to do four steps:

1. Stabilization

Slow down, become aware of yourself here and now, find a resource to move from a state from “not very” to “not very stable”.

2. Exit from the pit

With a sharp push, change “not very” to “good”. And here a major shake-up is needed. A universal option is a vacation, but the way to “get out of the pit” is limited only by fantasy.

3. Align the balance

4. Search for global meaning

Why are you now in a state of “consistently good”? What motivates you to continue to be in it? Your unique meaning, close only to you. So we got to what allows the light bulb to burn constantly — electricity.

The exercise is an hour long, the result is an hour long…

Finally, one exercise. It is called “An hour for yourself” and its essence is simple: plan exactly an hour a week and devote it not to work, not to hobbies and not to family, but only to the one and only yourself.

This is a lifestyle test. Can you afford it with ease, or will you have to carve out an hour in a schedule packed to the limit?

Behavior test. Do you know, do you remember what to do when left alone with yourself?

A thought test. Do you feel good here and now, or are you thinking about the unfinished business?

A test of where you are going: to burnout or anti-burnout. And where do you want to go?

Based on: Polina Tankovich

https://www.cluber.com.ua/lifestyle/psihologiya-lifestyle/2023/10/emoczionalnoe-vygoranie-vse-chto-vazhno-ob-etom-znat/

it takes up most of your time (the time devoted to thinking about it also counts);
you give your best;

Even if both have coincided, do not rush to the conclusion, the syndrome of an extinguished light bulb does not concern everyone and not always, but also has a number of signs.
Signs of burnout. How to understand what is about to happen?

But only the course, you can’t burn out in a week or two. So what determines how quickly this will happen and whether emotional burnout will occur at all? And who risks falling into this trap first?
Which people are prone to burnout?