Truly close people are close mentally and spiritually

Published 11.10.2023 | By Йосиф

Truly close people are close mentally and spiritually

At the moment, it is difficult for girls and boys to see, to know the pattern of pure love. Young people believe the myths about love that they see on the pages of magazines, newspapers, TV screens. In the media, a sample of “love” is cultivated, which is more passion than love. The purpose of this “love” is to get pleasure. Family life is presented as a relationship between two sexual partners, where everyone should experience a passionate attraction to the other. Love from the great shrine is reduced to the level of some kind of consumption. It is interpreted that we should “receive” love, “make” love. That is, false installations are given. Young people start with mistakes, a lot of people chase pleasures, try to look for exactly the kind of person who will give more pleasure.

Then, when the couple has already married, the prose of everyday life begins: children are born, responsibilities appear. And the ghostly pleasures dissipate. There is an addiction to each other, a woman begins to get tired, because there are a lot of responsibilities, after the birth of a child, she goes all into motherhood. And now there is no passion, there is no fervor. And people are focused only on this. And a marriage based on sensual attraction is disintegrating, it does not hold, there is no binding foundation that would fuel the marriage, that would give it new strength.

The second variant of substitution of the true understanding of love is sentimental love. There are experiences, feelings, where the human soul is involved, and not just the body. Very often, in this romance, sentimentality, the opportunity to explain yourself, to open your soul to your lover, to feel kinship, many young people see the basis for building a marriage. Here we look: there is a beauty on the screen, a young man falls in love with her, a showdown between them, someone cheated on someone, a chain of suffering.

It seems that these emotional experiences are the very value for which it is worth being together. But this is also a substitution, a myth. Emotions, feelings that people give to each other, words spoken in intimate moments remain in memory, memories of beautiful moments stir the soul. Romantically minded young people idealize the situation of future life together, prefer not to think about future difficulties. But experience shows that this also dissipates. All this mawkish-sentimental romance nourishes and warms, as long as there are no difficulties in the relationship.

But suddenly there is some obstacle, parents are against it, or a young man has found a more beautiful one, or a girl is attracted to someone, or there is nowhere to live. It turns out that through emotions, words, dreams, vows, you can step over, betray. Crystal castles without foundations collapse very easily. If young people build their lives on this, then at a fateful moment they lose the meaning of life. Many people want to commit suicide. It seems that everything, an irreparable disaster has occurred. Such suffering is a natural result of a misunderstanding of the essence of love.

And in the first case, when a person lives by passions, and in this case, when a person lives by a romantic relationship, a person is looking for a convenient, pleasant, profitable for himself. A person lives by what another can give him, is completely focused on this: what can you give me. And if he stops receiving it, there is frustration, pain, despair.

There is a third, innermost, true understanding of love. For this understanding, a person must rise to the spiritual level of his development. Love is really selfless service. We only love to the extent that we wish to bring good to our loved one. The less a person thinks about himself, the less he is concerned about finding pleasure or comfortable conditions for himself, and vice versa, the more he is willing to sacrifice himself and his powers, abilities, the more he is able to love.

If people are connected by true love, there was a meeting of one human soul with another, then a divine “spark” slips between people at this moment. As it is written in literature: “their destinies are connected in heaven.” Our human heart is so arranged that it is able to receive this hint from God, this signal that next to you is the person for whom you are prepared.

Sometimes we notice this spark, but we begin to look at the external characteristics of a person, who he is. Then we see that maybe he is not very good-looking, not so rich, or some other differences from the ideal. We think about ourselves, and why do we need a person who does not represent an object of external admiration for me. After all, young people want their girlfriends to be jealous, girls want to find a prince, a rich one who will drive up by car, take them to a restaurant so that they can talk about it, brag about it.

And likewise the young men. When we ask young people who are not married yet: “What kind of girl do you dream of?”, many first of all want to be beautiful, have long legs. What is it for? We have a criterion of external respectability, prestige in everything, so that other people will look and envy what I have gained.

People don’t think much about the fact that if this person is dear to you, we love you, if meeting him is a value for you, then then a family should turn out. You will have to rely on your husband (wife), and he must be a person who will not betray, will not deceive, will not leave in a difficult moment, will be your friend, life partner. And this image does not always fit into the criteria of external beauty. Because when people are already getting married, it does not rest on external beauty, on the ability to dress stylishly or the ability to luxuriously furnish an apartment, on material prosperity. In such a marriage, people eventually begin to get bored, three or four months pass, and the couple feels disappointed. Slowly but surely the relationship is falling apart, falling apart and falling apart.

The whole problem is that someone has to show the ideal of love to young people. If a young man and a girl grew up in families where parents would live amicably, in harmony, would keep their marriage for many years, but we often see that young people who want to start a family grew up in single-parent families.

An ideal case when parents show an example of true love. And how can the youngest person figure it out? Analyze what is happening around. In order to gain experience, you need to look at what is happening in other people’s lives. Surely there are friends, also now on the Internet many people create diaries that give everyone the opportunity to read. But when we get acquainted with the destinies, with the experience of other people, we must use the criterion of whether it is good or bad. Understand what meets our goals and what does not.

I remember my younger years, we also had a teenage company. We talked for hours about our first steps in a love relationship. When the first feelings are just emerging, all this is touching and trembling. Now, maybe everything happens differently, but then we wrote notes, then looks played a very big role, whether a young man would invite a dance or not, whether a girl would come on a date. These fragments formed a complicated picture of relationships, the search for love.

I am very sympathetic to young people, now it is not so easy to stay in the state of the birth of the first relationship that would make the human soul tremble. Not the flesh, but the soul. Because there is no environment where this wave would be picked up, it is difficult to hear a love song where there is meaning and a good clever verse. And in a nightclub there will be rhythmic music that provokes completely different forms of behavior, where people smoke, drink, and kiss in front of everyone.

There is freedom of behavior, freedom of morals, but there is no care when the first contact occurs, when there is a search for reciprocity, when every look, every gesture is kept by the heart, when everything is infinitely dear. Modern youth has a kind of basement: people enter, get acquainted with love, but not at all from the best side. There is a possibility of such unity and such closeness, which a person does not have to think about specifically how to create it. They think through bodily relationships to become closer to a person. But that’s not how true intimacy begins.

Truly close people are close mentally and spiritually, and only then, in the third place, physically. Now everything starts from the end, people are already close physically, but they do not find spiritual and spiritual intimacy, so such relationships are doomed to break. As soon as passion cools down, as soon as addiction arises, then everything goes to zero, slowly but surely. Interest disappears, and they immediately easily begin to change each other, because they want to find, to rise to the same intensity of passion, which is no longer found with this partner. The marriage lasts for several months, such a tragedy…

The tragedy is that people are disappointed in love. They say, “there is no love” or “they betray everything”, “they change everything”. But who is to blame for such a bitter conclusion? We ourselves, because we know only the lowest side of love.

If there is a habit to keep the most important thing, to prefer the spiritual to the physical, then a person will correctly feel this spark that has arisen in the heart, and everything else is arranged by God.

Irina Moshkova

https://ecology.md/ru/page/ponastoasemu-blizkie-ludi-blizki-dusevno-i-duhovno